Lighting The Fire

One recent Friday night, I went out with a group of friends for a "ladies night out".Those who know me well will know that I'm not a late-night party girl. I can count on one hand the number of times I've been clubbing, and for the most part, I'd rather be at home, curled up next to my husband reading a book or writing a blog. Nevertheless, ladies night was most enjoyable, and we had fun. 

On the Saturday morning after Ladies Night, having downed a strong cup of coffee, I had the pleasure of meeting up with someone to discuss a combination of future plans: a concoction of entrepreneurship, ministry, charities, initiatives, business... We talked for hours about what seemed like endless opportunities to reach the world, and I was astounded by the ideas and inspirations that was just pouring out of this person. I couldn’t help but walk away from this meeting with my head swimming in renewed passion for the dreams that God places in His childrens’ hearts, and had to spend that Sunday recovering from it all. And so it was, that I was struck by the enormous contrast between that Friday night and that Saturday.

Friday night was a night of self-indulgence, self-satisfaction, making ourselves feel happy with dancing and laughter. This self-indulgence was... well, just fun. But it left no lasting impression on my soul, no desire to change the world, and it rendered me more than a little bit tired the next day.

Now, I’m not saying that there's no time in life for fun – there definitely should be. But Saturday… Wow, Saturday lit a fire in my soul. I felt so uplifted, inspired, and hungry for more of that. Hungry to spend more time in the presence of people who share this love, this passion, this desperate desire to seek God and His Kingdom.  I felt as though I had been to the most anointed fellowship service, the kind that leaves a permanent mark on your heart. It made me feel alive.

What is this blaze inside me, that when it’s fueled, it threatens to all but consume me?

A fire for the lost.

For the broken and desperate.

For the sick.

And a fire for even those who seem to have it all together, yet deep down, they too wrestle with their own inner demons of discouragement and weariness.

How can I possibly live my life and ignore this burning?

  

Jeremiah 20:9 

But if I say, “I will not mention his word, or speak anymore in his name,” His word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.

My pastor recently shared the parable that Jesus tells of 10 virgins with oil lamps. (Matthew 25). In those days, the virgins were like the "bridesmaids". They were to help the bride prepare herself for marriage, and would also watch for the Groom's arrival. In this parable, it is said that the Groom was "a long time in coming" - he was delayed. And so the virgins lit their lamps, and waited for him. 

Inevitably, they fell asleep, and in verse 7, when a cry rang out that the Groom was nearby, we are told that "all the virgins woke up and trimmed their lamps." 

There is so much more that can be said from this parable, but in essence, I feel like I am waking up from a deep slumber. I'm a bit dazed and confused. I don't really know where the Groom is coming from, or where He wants me to be. I only know that He is coming for His Bride - and He wants me to help prepare Her for Him. What a humbling realization. In my heart, I am searching for kindred spirits who are also awakening to the Groom's call on their lives, people like me who long to serve Him. 

That Saturday that I spent in the presence of a fellow visionary, was like a voice ringing in my soul: He is coming! I must rub the sleep from my eyes, and light my lamp. Look for Him, seek His face, and receive His guidance. I don't know where we are going, and if I must be honest, that's an intimidating thought. 

But I have decided to go with Him. 

Will you? Will you allow the flame of God's love for His bride to ignite your insides, and burn so bright and so hot that you can't sleep anymore? 

I thought it fit to share this rocking-awesome track that kinda hit me between the eyes the other day. The words are so fitting, from start to finish, but one part really stands out: 

Come, spark the parts in me that all but died,

Jumpstart my heart, and wake the sleeper inside.

And here is the song for all you rockers out there, hope it inspires you. 

Ignition - by tobyMac

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQU1K6j7lDE&feature=watch_response

-Kirsty Coetzee

The Residue Of Truth

Life. A combination of calamities,

so beautifully complex, in it's ideals just for you.

Entertaining tragedy, as we strive to stay true.

We face such grace in the simplicity of our question,

to honour our point of view, a godly dimension.

Serenity of mind brings out the deepest roots,

snatching at the grave, my personal search for truth,

Vindicate me, O God, and plead my cause against an ungodly nation.

Psalm forty three verse one, following in Jesus footsteps, receiving his salvation.

My ability to write, is a gift from the above,

a riot of words... All covered up in love.

It's not who I am, it's what He does through me,

the resource of expression, the rush of life to me.

The residue of truth, my serenity of mind,

who am I to argue, the creation of his kind.

It's in my hands to choose, what I'm going to become,

a creature of circumstance, or a declaration to his son.

~ Written By Anastasios Konstantinopoulos

Wake Up Call

I was struck with quite the wake-up call recently. I read one of my friends' post that she put up on her page, and upon reading it, I was overcome with a massive feeling of inspiration from what she had wrote. What struck me most about her writing was the honesty that could be found in her words, the raw truth with nothing to hide. Completely placing herself right there along side her words, unashamed and vulnerable for all who read to make of it as they wish. I saw something in her writing that I've been feeling had been missing in mine, a full immersion of self, with no holding onto any safety nets. Just raw genuine realness!

I had to take this a bit further, and ask myself the question, 'Is this the way that I live my life?' since my writing is my words, and my words come from my heart, therefore, what my heart is full of, it is! This made me realize that I've been playing it safe in my day-to-day walk regarding my faith and interaction with the world. Taking it easy, just a little bit here, some sacrifice there, nothing too much out of my comfort-zone, my personal bubble of protection. I recently came across a verse in the bible showing us what happened when Jesus calls his to-be disciples, and speaks of how they responded;

“At once they left their nets and followed him.”

Mathew 4:20

They didn't first need to think about it, nor did they first go and put their nets away, they just left what they were doing and followed. What I understand, is that fishing was these guys income, not to mention their life. Yet they didn't hesitate to just leave that all behind and respond to the call of Jesus. Too often have I postponed my action to follow, tried to first think it through, and make excuses.

I've been holding onto my net for some time now, my securities and comforts. Too afraid to fully put myself out there. Unable to leave my net behind, for fear of what people might think, their opinions and their comments. The time has now come to let it go, and respond to the call of Jesus, fully and wholeheartedly. Enough is the hour, where I just give some. I want to give it all, I want to hold nothing back, I want to be on fire once again for my Lord and saviour! To be able to dance with my father in heaven, as I'm so sure that he's waiting to dance with me, and can't if I'm still half sitting down in the comfort of my own chair.

~ Written By Anastasios Konstantinopoulos

Doubt

There have been things that I've been encountering these past few weeks that have caused me to doubt or at least question my beliefs. Mostly encounters with vehement non-believers, as well as an article that I read entitled "God - hero to zero in 6000 years". It was so mean. But anyway. Being in company with people who don't share your beliefs, and furthermore who challenge them, really makes you think about and re-evaluate what you proclaim to believe. In a way, I think that that's a good thing, because it tests your faith and can consequently either strengthens it or exposes you for the phony that you are. There is no point in telling people about your faith if it doesn't stand on a solid foundation. But I'll tell you why they caused me to doubt - because what they said made so much sense! So much! I'll confess that those encounters shook my foundation.  It makes me wonder if I really know what I believe in and why I believe in it.

You gotta know what you believe in otherwise you'll get torn apart!

I've often prayed very hard for other people in my lifes' faith to be solid, to be built on the foundation of rock...talk about not seeing the plank in your own eye. A humbling experience right there. Thank you God for pointing out one of the areas in which I need to humble myself. But getting back to what I wanted to say: often the way that many people (including the church sometimes) put it across is that you should never doubt, never question God's authority or his Word. As in, shame on you, how dare you doubt God?

And the result of that doctrine is of course, undoubtedly, shame. Maybe a little bit of rejection there too. 'Cause how come other people don't struggle with doubt and I do? For a long time I used to feel so ashamed and unworthy because some things confused me and my faith was a million times smaller than a mustard seed. No ways o! I'll say it again, and this is what I feel strongly to be a part of my ministry - WE ARE BROKEN PEOPLE. We are God's broken people. And I don't think that God wants you to pretend that you don't have doubts just because you're not supposed to. That's fake AND hypocritical.

The pastor at the church I attend based one of his messages around this phrase: "God doesn't want performers, he wants SONS." I love that because it just reminds me of grace yet again, how God loves us because we are his, not because of what we do (or don't do) for him. Having said all of that, I still have doubt. I read somewhere once though that God can handle your doubts. Totes man! He'd rather that you have faith in Him instead of faith in your faith. I think the thing for me to do here is to keeping seeking. Seek and you shall find. Keep on keeping on. God IS real. I see it in the testimony's of others. If Jesus wasn't/isn't real, then why do I feel gladness and peace when I (attempt to) draw nearer to Him? Why does my soul get excited at the thought of fellowship? Why do I feel refreshed when I DO fellowship? I mean, come on. Such a lightness that you have never felt in your life.

I can't PROVE to you that Jesus exists, I don't think that's the point though. But I'll tell you that when I saw the joy and peace that the Christians in my life had, I was like: "I want me some of that".

Shut Up Little Voice, I'm Human!

Psalm 32v10: He that trusts in the Lord, mercy shall surround him…

At this point in my life, there are some things that hurt. Some things that I can’t make happen by myself, and things that I have no choice but to trust the Almighty with. And I do, I really do. I’m not obsessing over these things, and I’m doing my utmost with the wonderful life that I have before me right now.

But I can’t help it if sometimes life gets me down. I’m feeling low this morning. I’m all too aware today of the things I can’t control, things that I’m praying for breakthrough on, things that I know only God Himself can do. My breakthrough isn’t here yet, and I keep hoping it will be soon. I just keep hoping, trusting. Still, my heart is sad.

Why is it then that I have this mean little voice in the back of my head telling me that I’m never going to succeed, because I’m not trusting the Lord. Telling me that I should be displaying my trust in a show of continual happiness and peace. If I were truly placing my trust in the Lord, I would not be feeling this way, right?

I’m not happy right at this moment!

And there are things that I don’t have peace about within my heart!

But I DO trust my Father to care for me. You stupid little voice, how dare you tell me how to feel!?

Man I am so tired of feeling bad for not fitting the mould. I’m breaking free of this. I’m going to have bad days, World, so just deal with it. Being God’s child doesn’t make me impermeable to pain, it doesn’t make me a doormat to be walked over, and it doesn’t give me a 'happy mask' to wear every day.

Jesus wept.

Jesus challenged people over things that were worth the argument.

Jesus pushed tables over, with a whip in his Hand, in an outrage over something that He was righteously indignant over. How I’d love to see His face, red with anger, eyes glittering with passion!

So if I’m not feeling 100% today, I know my Papa in heaven doesn’t mind. He knows I’m human, and that I can’t see the bigger picture, and He understands that it’s frustrating to wait around, blindfolded about the future and hurting about the present.

He’s more Gracious than you, little voice, so take your guilt trip somewhere else.

~By Kirsty Coetzee, 15 February 2012

Outreach

A group of leaders from wealthy, western churches all over the world met together for a joint mission venture to a small remote orphanage in the mountains of Lesotho. The leaders visited for a week, and during that time they spent much energy out and about, running workshops for local pastors, teaching the way that their churches operated, and why they had so many resources to share. They also spent time playing with the children. They joined in the games with the small children, playing hop scotch in the sand. They sat and read to the older girls who needed help with English lessons for school. They played soccer with the older boys, on a field that was full of holes and on the side of a mountain. On the last day their helicopter arrived and took the church leaders back to civilisation, leaving the orphanage and all of the children behind.

The day after, they were asked to give feedback from the visit. ‘It was sad to see how empty and sad their eyes were. It was like they just needed to feel God’s love, and feel His arms of acceptance. I really hope that we made a real difference during the week,’ said one of the older boys, before sitting back down at the table with the rest of his friends and siblings in his big, loving family in the mountains of Lesotho.

Written by Grant Strugnell

Sometimes We Lose, But That's Okay.

So like, I’ve arrived at that point in my spiritual walk where I’ve decided that I really want to see God more – you know; the whole taking up your cross and following Jesus thing. Because I think that it’s pretty damn awesome to get to that point where you sit and have a proper conversation with God/Jesus/Holy Spirit. Can you imagine it?? Yoh, the joy.

Thing is, once you decide to do anything for God, the forces in place will do everything they can to make sure that that doesn’t happen.

Satan will attack you with the best that he’s got – I mean, he’s been in the game for a long time and knows exactly what will crush you. He’s not afraid to play dirty. He invented it. And generally, we are inclined to agree with whatever he whispers into our minds because it would appear to be true. He starts shouting when he really gets panicked about you getting tight with God. But there’s a reason that he’s the father of lies, the ultimate deceiver.

Last week at church out of all places he was shouting at me, hitting me with all he had – using my parents, my insecurities, my doubts, my rejection-complex, and even my design ability against me; battling it out in my head. And to the enemy’s credit, I let him win that round. I lost. My flesh surrendered to lies instead of surrendering to Jesus. I allowed my joy to be stolen. And I was angry with God because of His promises to be our protector, our saviour; the one who frees us from the chains of oppression that Satan binds us with. I thought to myself, “God, WHY aren’t you protecting me from this??”

And the answer that eventually came to me the next day was, “because you aren’t letting me.”

The biggest mistake that all of us make is thinking that we can do life by ourselves. God can do the infinite and abundant if we just let him. He gave us other people too:

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other that you may be healed” – James 5:16

Nobody is perfect. In fact, most of us are broken. I once watched this video where the guy said: “the church is a home for broken people, not perfect saints”. Satan will use everything that makes you broken to condemn you and bring you down, making you feel too ashamed to confess to anybody. I just want to say to everyone reading this – don’t let him. Talk about your struggles with other people, allow God to lift you out of the dirt, just don’t give up. We’re here to help each other to keep on keeping on.

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, authorities and powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” – Ephesians 6:12

Here’s to rising above this flame!

~ Written By Veronica Christou