Wake Up Call

I was struck with quite the wake-up call recently. I read one of my friends' post that she put up on her page, and upon reading it, I was overcome with a massive feeling of inspiration from what she had wrote. What struck me most about her writing was the honesty that could be found in her words, the raw truth with nothing to hide. Completely placing herself right there along side her words, unashamed and vulnerable for all who read to make of it as they wish. I saw something in her writing that I've been feeling had been missing in mine, a full immersion of self, with no holding onto any safety nets. Just raw genuine realness!

I had to take this a bit further, and ask myself the question, 'Is this the way that I live my life?' since my writing is my words, and my words come from my heart, therefore, what my heart is full of, it is! This made me realize that I've been playing it safe in my day-to-day walk regarding my faith and interaction with the world. Taking it easy, just a little bit here, some sacrifice there, nothing too much out of my comfort-zone, my personal bubble of protection. I recently came across a verse in the bible showing us what happened when Jesus calls his to-be disciples, and speaks of how they responded;

“At once they left their nets and followed him.”

Mathew 4:20

They didn't first need to think about it, nor did they first go and put their nets away, they just left what they were doing and followed. What I understand, is that fishing was these guys income, not to mention their life. Yet they didn't hesitate to just leave that all behind and respond to the call of Jesus. Too often have I postponed my action to follow, tried to first think it through, and make excuses.

I've been holding onto my net for some time now, my securities and comforts. Too afraid to fully put myself out there. Unable to leave my net behind, for fear of what people might think, their opinions and their comments. The time has now come to let it go, and respond to the call of Jesus, fully and wholeheartedly. Enough is the hour, where I just give some. I want to give it all, I want to hold nothing back, I want to be on fire once again for my Lord and saviour! To be able to dance with my father in heaven, as I'm so sure that he's waiting to dance with me, and can't if I'm still half sitting down in the comfort of my own chair.

~ Written By Anastasios Konstantinopoulos

Doubt

There have been things that I've been encountering these past few weeks that have caused me to doubt or at least question my beliefs. Mostly encounters with vehement non-believers, as well as an article that I read entitled "God - hero to zero in 6000 years". It was so mean. But anyway. Being in company with people who don't share your beliefs, and furthermore who challenge them, really makes you think about and re-evaluate what you proclaim to believe. In a way, I think that that's a good thing, because it tests your faith and can consequently either strengthens it or exposes you for the phony that you are. There is no point in telling people about your faith if it doesn't stand on a solid foundation. But I'll tell you why they caused me to doubt - because what they said made so much sense! So much! I'll confess that those encounters shook my foundation.  It makes me wonder if I really know what I believe in and why I believe in it.

You gotta know what you believe in otherwise you'll get torn apart!

I've often prayed very hard for other people in my lifes' faith to be solid, to be built on the foundation of rock...talk about not seeing the plank in your own eye. A humbling experience right there. Thank you God for pointing out one of the areas in which I need to humble myself. But getting back to what I wanted to say: often the way that many people (including the church sometimes) put it across is that you should never doubt, never question God's authority or his Word. As in, shame on you, how dare you doubt God?

And the result of that doctrine is of course, undoubtedly, shame. Maybe a little bit of rejection there too. 'Cause how come other people don't struggle with doubt and I do? For a long time I used to feel so ashamed and unworthy because some things confused me and my faith was a million times smaller than a mustard seed. No ways o! I'll say it again, and this is what I feel strongly to be a part of my ministry - WE ARE BROKEN PEOPLE. We are God's broken people. And I don't think that God wants you to pretend that you don't have doubts just because you're not supposed to. That's fake AND hypocritical.

The pastor at the church I attend based one of his messages around this phrase: "God doesn't want performers, he wants SONS." I love that because it just reminds me of grace yet again, how God loves us because we are his, not because of what we do (or don't do) for him. Having said all of that, I still have doubt. I read somewhere once though that God can handle your doubts. Totes man! He'd rather that you have faith in Him instead of faith in your faith. I think the thing for me to do here is to keeping seeking. Seek and you shall find. Keep on keeping on. God IS real. I see it in the testimony's of others. If Jesus wasn't/isn't real, then why do I feel gladness and peace when I (attempt to) draw nearer to Him? Why does my soul get excited at the thought of fellowship? Why do I feel refreshed when I DO fellowship? I mean, come on. Such a lightness that you have never felt in your life.

I can't PROVE to you that Jesus exists, I don't think that's the point though. But I'll tell you that when I saw the joy and peace that the Christians in my life had, I was like: "I want me some of that".

Shut Up Little Voice, I'm Human!

Psalm 32v10: He that trusts in the Lord, mercy shall surround him…

At this point in my life, there are some things that hurt. Some things that I can’t make happen by myself, and things that I have no choice but to trust the Almighty with. And I do, I really do. I’m not obsessing over these things, and I’m doing my utmost with the wonderful life that I have before me right now.

But I can’t help it if sometimes life gets me down. I’m feeling low this morning. I’m all too aware today of the things I can’t control, things that I’m praying for breakthrough on, things that I know only God Himself can do. My breakthrough isn’t here yet, and I keep hoping it will be soon. I just keep hoping, trusting. Still, my heart is sad.

Why is it then that I have this mean little voice in the back of my head telling me that I’m never going to succeed, because I’m not trusting the Lord. Telling me that I should be displaying my trust in a show of continual happiness and peace. If I were truly placing my trust in the Lord, I would not be feeling this way, right?

I’m not happy right at this moment!

And there are things that I don’t have peace about within my heart!

But I DO trust my Father to care for me. You stupid little voice, how dare you tell me how to feel!?

Man I am so tired of feeling bad for not fitting the mould. I’m breaking free of this. I’m going to have bad days, World, so just deal with it. Being God’s child doesn’t make me impermeable to pain, it doesn’t make me a doormat to be walked over, and it doesn’t give me a 'happy mask' to wear every day.

Jesus wept.

Jesus challenged people over things that were worth the argument.

Jesus pushed tables over, with a whip in his Hand, in an outrage over something that He was righteously indignant over. How I’d love to see His face, red with anger, eyes glittering with passion!

So if I’m not feeling 100% today, I know my Papa in heaven doesn’t mind. He knows I’m human, and that I can’t see the bigger picture, and He understands that it’s frustrating to wait around, blindfolded about the future and hurting about the present.

He’s more Gracious than you, little voice, so take your guilt trip somewhere else.

~By Kirsty Coetzee, 15 February 2012

Outreach

A group of leaders from wealthy, western churches all over the world met together for a joint mission venture to a small remote orphanage in the mountains of Lesotho. The leaders visited for a week, and during that time they spent much energy out and about, running workshops for local pastors, teaching the way that their churches operated, and why they had so many resources to share. They also spent time playing with the children. They joined in the games with the small children, playing hop scotch in the sand. They sat and read to the older girls who needed help with English lessons for school. They played soccer with the older boys, on a field that was full of holes and on the side of a mountain. On the last day their helicopter arrived and took the church leaders back to civilisation, leaving the orphanage and all of the children behind.

The day after, they were asked to give feedback from the visit. ‘It was sad to see how empty and sad their eyes were. It was like they just needed to feel God’s love, and feel His arms of acceptance. I really hope that we made a real difference during the week,’ said one of the older boys, before sitting back down at the table with the rest of his friends and siblings in his big, loving family in the mountains of Lesotho.

Written by Grant Strugnell

Sometimes We Lose, But That's Okay.

So like, I’ve arrived at that point in my spiritual walk where I’ve decided that I really want to see God more – you know; the whole taking up your cross and following Jesus thing. Because I think that it’s pretty damn awesome to get to that point where you sit and have a proper conversation with God/Jesus/Holy Spirit. Can you imagine it?? Yoh, the joy.

Thing is, once you decide to do anything for God, the forces in place will do everything they can to make sure that that doesn’t happen.

Satan will attack you with the best that he’s got – I mean, he’s been in the game for a long time and knows exactly what will crush you. He’s not afraid to play dirty. He invented it. And generally, we are inclined to agree with whatever he whispers into our minds because it would appear to be true. He starts shouting when he really gets panicked about you getting tight with God. But there’s a reason that he’s the father of lies, the ultimate deceiver.

Last week at church out of all places he was shouting at me, hitting me with all he had – using my parents, my insecurities, my doubts, my rejection-complex, and even my design ability against me; battling it out in my head. And to the enemy’s credit, I let him win that round. I lost. My flesh surrendered to lies instead of surrendering to Jesus. I allowed my joy to be stolen. And I was angry with God because of His promises to be our protector, our saviour; the one who frees us from the chains of oppression that Satan binds us with. I thought to myself, “God, WHY aren’t you protecting me from this??”

And the answer that eventually came to me the next day was, “because you aren’t letting me.”

The biggest mistake that all of us make is thinking that we can do life by ourselves. God can do the infinite and abundant if we just let him. He gave us other people too:

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other that you may be healed” – James 5:16

Nobody is perfect. In fact, most of us are broken. I once watched this video where the guy said: “the church is a home for broken people, not perfect saints”. Satan will use everything that makes you broken to condemn you and bring you down, making you feel too ashamed to confess to anybody. I just want to say to everyone reading this – don’t let him. Talk about your struggles with other people, allow God to lift you out of the dirt, just don’t give up. We’re here to help each other to keep on keeping on.

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, authorities and powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” – Ephesians 6:12

Here’s to rising above this flame!

~ Written By Veronica Christou

The Plans He Has For Me

I sat in church the other night, and I must have suddenly become tired or hungry or something. You see, when I'm tired or hungry, I become a very nasty person - anyone who knows me will testify to this. And as I sat in church, during the minister's sermon, I was just suddenly attacked by a seriously bad attitude.

The minister was giving a message on seeds, good soil, bad soil, birds and weeds - you may be familiar with the parable. But at one point, the minister asked the question, "Do you know what God wants you to do with your life? And are you doing it!?" 

Enter the Bad Attitude: "How should I know?! I don't know what He wants me to do, and I've been asking Him for years!!? How can you ask me that?!" 

Wow. My inner thoughts were like a slap in my own face. I'm quite sure that the Lord didn't fall off His throne in shock - He knows my heart better than I do - but I sure nearly fell off my own chair. Did I just think that?! Why haven't I been struck by lightning yet? 

Having recovered somewhat, I couldn't quite get my mind back on the pastor's sermon, and so I sat and chewed on the question for the remainder of the evening.

I have been feeling for quite some time now that something *B*I*G* is about to happen. In my mind, I see the Lord opening a door that I've dreamed of walking through, a door that I never thought would open for me. A door that I never even knew existed for me! I have no idea what is beyond this elusive door, but when I think of it, I'm filled with anticipation, excitement and gratitude. I can't wait to see how He's going to use me! But then... I get back into my reality, my daily life, and it all seems so... well... mundane. Frustrating. 

For a few months now, I keep being reminded of Joseph and his multi-coloured cloak. He was his father's favourite, and a dreamer. He dreamed of his brothers bowing before him. Then he dreamed of his brothers and his parents bowing before him. He dreamed of being a saviour and a ruler of the people. He knew that, despite being the youngest of 12 brothers, which already made him less significant as far as birthright goes, God had something huge for Him. He dreamed *B*I*G*. 

Ultimately, Joseph's brothers grew to hate him, and his parents rebuked him for his seemingly foolish dreams. He was abused and sold into slavery, and spent the next thirteen years of his life waiting for his dreams to materialize. Thirteen years! I'm quite certain that during those thirteen years of slavery, false accusations and imprisonment, Joseph must have grumbled about his destiny from time to time. Just the same way my heart did in church the other night. 

You see, I think that deep down I'm just afraid that my dreams are just that: dreams. And that I really will just live an insignificant life, leaving no legacy, making no footprint on this planet, having touched no lives, and perhaps scraping into Heaven by the skin of my teeth at the end of a very mundane existence. And that is why the pastor's question hit such a nerve last night: Do you know what God wants you to do, and are you doing it? 

Jeremiah 29v 11-14

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 YOU WILL SEEK ME and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

People usually stop reading at verse 11, because all on it's own, that is such a "feel-good" verse. You don't really want to risk spoiling it by reading anything further. And yet, the first time that I read verses 12 and 13, I was absolutely floored. And then verse 14: "I will be found by you". WOW.

The minister's question made me uncomfortable, because I don't know what the Lord has planned for me, and until He chooses to reveal it to me, I am to wait, as Joseph waited. Thirteen years? Who knows. But what I do know is that the only way I will ever see my dreams come to pass is to look into His Face. It's extraordinary that He asks nothing more from us. No rituals. No demands. No animal sacrifices. Just for us to get to know Him. 

Seek My face. I will set you free. 

Seek My face. I will restore you.

Seek My face. I will make you a conqueror. 

Seek My face. I will unfold plans that you can only dream of. 

Seek Me. I will be found by you. 

And this is where it hit me: DO I know what God wants me to do? YES! Could it be that mMy ultimate calling in this life is to simply seek Father's face, and get to know Him? Everything else is secondary, and any *B*I*G* plans that come to pass are only the by-product of my relationship with the Almighty. That really simplifies things and takes the pressure off me, trying so hard to figure out what the Lord has in mind for me... as if I could dare read the mind of God.

It probably isn't the kind of answer that our minister was looking for, when he asked that thought-provoking question, but if I think about it: what an honour. If I spent the next thirteen years looking into His Face, getting to know Him, it could be the most adventurous, wonderful thirteen years of my life

Psalm 20v5:

Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare.

~Written by Kirsty Coetzee

Letting It Out

"Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them." ~ Bruce Lee 


We make many mistakes in life, yet it's being honest about those mistakes which really makes the difference. It's easy for us to be honest with God about our mistakes, since we can secretly tell Him what we've done wrong, and we know that He won't judge, think or love us any less or different. The tough part is speaking about your mistakes to people. Since  we've felt judged before by our family, friends and most of the time strangers. We tend to harden up over the years, and are afraid to open up about our failures to our neighbor. We struggle all alone. Silent and hurting. For fear of what they might think or respond. We limit ourselves from receiving help!

"Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes." ~ Oscar Wilde

I've done this more times than I can remember. Over and over, I tend to revert back to my defenses. "It works" I'll tell myself, "nobody knows, and anyway, I'm sure nobody cares either!" I keep them all inside, and watch them evolve, piece by piece into massive monsters of repression and hatred. They always come out in the end. One day, when I'm not expecting it to. With all the suffering that I had to go through along the way, just to feel it explode nonetheless.

"The Lord directs the step of the Godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by hand." ~Psalm 37v23-24

Life is worth so much more than holding on to our mistakes. Our faults and failures. Speak them out. Post them online if you have to. Just get them out. Be prepared for the repercussions, because there are people who will hear of your mistake and hold it against you. Don't be afraid of your imperfections. It is your flaws that makes your life unique to YOU! You'll feel free, and the load will be lifted.  It is when we lay down our pride, our shame and speak out what we did wrong, what we are sorry for, that we begin to open up room for forgiveness and freedom to flow. Someone around might just hear about your struggle and feel relief, that they are not the only one who went through that storm. A relief that you brought, a light of hope through your courage.  It starts with us taking that risk, no matter what, and letting it out!