Dear Compassion, And A Gentle Reply

Dear Compassion,

You unnerve me, disarm me. You leave me feeling weak when all I want to be is strong. You make me feel like I’m standing in the eye of the storm wanting to reach out and get ripped up in the chaos just so I’d be a little closer to the mess I hope to be able to fix.

I dislike how you creep up unsuspecting and tread too heavily on my eyelids squeezing out what my mouth cannot yet speak. I like to be prepared for things – I operate as a forward thinker, with initiative and attentiveness, but you never give me time to plan in advance. You’re always just suddenly there. You run deeply and believe me, as much as I’ve tried to uproot you, I can’t get your claws to release their grip.

Cynicism and complacency are much easier to deal with; they’re distant, uninvolved and clean. You are messy. I’ll even have cheekiness and cheesy moments over you (and that’s saying a lot because I hate anything corny). I don’t know how to manage you. Can you be managed?

How is it that you can make me hurt so much for a stranger I’ve never even crossed paths with before? How is it that you can make me feel the pain of a person I barely know with aching intensity like their pain were my own? How is it that you can make me understand what it’s like to walk in another’s shoes when I’ve never seen their face?

I dislike how you can make my heart crumple with this feeling of… I’m not even sure what to call it! I’m overwhelmed (and I’m not just saying) by the bigness of these things I feel. I can be jamming along to the crappiest Alanis Morisette song and bam! there you are. Will you ever go? Days like today I wish you’d bug someone else and leave me to be self-absorbed and comfortable. Days like today I wish you’d leave my heart intact, unbruised by empathy. Days like today I wish you’d never come at all.

Yours in pieces,

Shae

●●●

Dear Shae

I am not here to keep you comfortable; I am here to remind you of Christ. My first priority is not to facilitate your complacency, but rather to stir within you something of the heart

of God for broken people.

I do not apologise for how much I cause you to feel hurt or how much I interrupt your day or how much I make you unsettled. I do not expect you to always fully understand me, but I do expect you to let me in. I am unwavering in love. I stem from the core of Christ’s heart – for both the saved and the lost; both are broken. I will not quit. I will not leave. I will not accommodate your self-pity when there are souls decaying faster than you can say “help me”.

Messy, is how I operate; stop complaining. Allow yourself to feel. Jesus’ heart broke for each person He encountered; His desire is that yours would too. (Heads up: if you’re driving and can’t stop crying, pull over.) This is how I operate:

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.”

“You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy…”

If you will only open your hands to hold something of the promise God has for you. If you will only open your heart to hold something of the ache that Creator God feels for His creation. If you will only open your eyes to behold something of the beautiful hope I give. If you will only let me show you.

I’m complex. I have many faces. I am not limited to time, place or space. I am furious. I am consuming. I am contagious. I do not relent.

I pray you’d see what I see on days like today. I pray you’d feel what I feel on days like today. I do not creep up to cripple you; I creep up to make sure I envelop and encompass you before you get defensive (especially on days like today). I pray you’d know more of Christ as I flood every fibre of your being. Let me in, child; let me in.

Yours in passionate pursuit,

Compassion

●●●

~ Written By Shae Leigh Bloem

* You can find more awesome, God inspired posts on her blog, at http://havemyword.wordpress.com/

Captivating

With the marriage of confusion, abundant with change.

Convenience left out, all trying to arrange.

Belief against our shame, biting at what we feel.

If nothing is different, then tell me that it's real.

Deepest doubt, it's me, I'm hiding in depression,

with something inside, no exposure, no expression.

Awaken my heart to the ache of a broken world. The rescue.

More than just some words, more than just, a bless you.

Captivating the soul, while unveiling the mystery,

the wellsprings of life, our beautiful history.

Look inside my soul, and hear the sound of laughter,

the joy of the Lord resides there, always and ever-after.

~by Anastasios Konstantinopoulos

Can You Drink The Cup?

I was a bit reluctant to post this note, because it's quite personal, but I really wanted to share it. I hope you can find a blessing in this!

Mat 20:21-22 (GNB) "What do you want?" Jesus asked her. She answered, "Promise me that these two sons of mine will sit at your right and your left when you are King." "You don't know what you are asking for," Jesus answered the sons. "Can you drink the cup of suffering that I am about to drink?" "We can," they answered.

We are so arrogant sometimes, I know I am. Many years ago I came to God telling Him that I wanted to follow Him and work for Him and now, looking back, I can almost see Him saying, “Please! This isn't a game! You don't have a friggen clue what you're asking!”

What comes to mind when you think about walking with God? Do you think about all those sermons you've heard from preachers in shiny suits telling you that the heavens will open and Gods blessing will rain down upon you? Well, let me tell you something, there's nothing glamorous about faith! Faith takes work, it takes sacrifice, it is often a life of pain and disappointment! Is it worth it in the end? Well, I don't know, because I'm still waiting to see, but I'm being humbled very quickly and learning that God isn't there for our own power trip!

Excuse me if I seem cynical, but let me explain: Within a year I have lost so much. Firstly my best friend and mentor, Adrian died in a motorcycle accident and then a few months later my wife left me and now it's like God is saying, “Ja, and now? Do you still want to walk with me?” So, don't come and tell me that all you have to do is pray and have faith and then everything will happen exactly as you want it to, because don't you think that I was on my knees many nights, scraping every bit of faith I had together, crying and begging God to bring her back to me? Well, I was and I quickly learned that God isn't a genie in a lamp waiting to grant our every wish! This is God's game and if you wanna play it, then you play it His way! If you really want the glory of God in your life then you better be ready to make some serious sacrifices my friend! It's like Jesus said: “If any of you want to come with me, you must forget yourself, carry your cross, and follow me.” (Matt 16:24 GNB)

The other day I got a new tattoo. It's an eagle and it has a lot of meaning for me. I remember Adrian talking about eagles a lot, especially on one of our annual camps aptly named Eagles Wings and I was always fascinated by eagles. When an eagle gets to about 40 years old, it's talons can no longer grab prey, it's beak becomes bent and it's wings becomes too heavy because of the old and damaged feathers. So, the eagle will go to a mountain top and start banging it's beak against a rock until it plucks it out. Then it will wait for a new beak to grow back and then it will pluck out it's talons. Then after the talons grow back it will start plucking out it's feathers and then the eagle will lie there naked and vulnerable until the feathers grow back. This whole process takes about 150 days, but when it is over the eagle will rise and take flight as a brand new eagle and then it will live for 30 more years! It is this process that inspires the famous verse in Isaiah: “But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” (Isa 40:31 NKJV)

So, of course, in my ignorance I've always thought, that's so cool and one day I'm going to get a tattoo of an eagle! But now when I think about it, there's nothing cool about it! It's not glamorous! The poor eagle!! You see, we are so quick to arrogantly say, “oh, those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength and rise with wings like eagles” and then we sing that song, but do we have any idea what it takes to rise on wings as eagles!? Only now am I starting to realise what it means to really wait on the Lord while he plucks out your old feathers and leaves you naked and alone! Only now do I realise that God isn't there for my comfort, He has a cup that I must drink and if I'm serious about following Him then I better drink it!

I'm not trying to puff myself up, like I'm this brave and strong person, because I'm not! Most of the time I don't feel like this, most of the time there's anger, frustration, guilt, regret, doubt, fear etc. but then other times at least I get one thing right, I draw near to God in my desperation and this is the stuff He reveals to me. He teaches me what it means to follow Him. Yes, He is absolutely the God who gives, but He is also the God who takes away! And we have to love Him as both. Me and my ex-wife's relationship is too complex to explain, but I know now that neither of us could become the people that God wanted us to be if we had stayed together and that's a hard pill for me to swallow or should I say, a hard cup for me to drink.

I believe that the number one reason why people fail in their spiritual walk is because they don't allow God to change their hearts. Change is too painful, so people rather just stay as they are. God is the potter and we are the clay, in order for the Potter to make something beautiful out of the clay, He has to knead it, form it and then bake it in a hot oven and most people are just too quick to chicken out the moment things get a bit hot and uncomfortable! So, when God leads us to a mountain top to go through a painful process of renewal, then we might think twice about going through with it, but don't worry even Jesus did! Just before they came to arrest Him He prayed: “My Father, if it is possible, take this cup of suffering from me!”(Mat 26:39 GNB), but then He still had the courage to say: “Yet not what I want, but what you want.”

~ Written by Anonymous

The Touch

Unexplainable eruption of emotions, happiness, sadness colliding.

Confusing, intriguing, adventurous thoughts gliding.
Fires, waters, growing – falling... inside they're forming.
Loving kindness, joyous peace, feelings are storming.
Soft and sweet, unexpected, spontaneous, this is crazy.
Dreams come true, sometimes some do, I'm fazing.
Weak inside, walls they fall, connection of my soul.
Fight back, it's too late, already I've lost, story told.
Experience, off the chart, out of this world, TOO MUCH...
All because of...
... ONE SIMPLE TOUCH.

~ Written by Anastasios Konstantinopoulos

The High Chair

So often I fall into the clutches of self-righteousness. Where I elevate myself above my fellow brother and sister. I look at their sin with condemnation, with a feeling of pity and with no understanding. What I see is only on the surface, yet i comment as if I know there thoughts and motives. I seem to be very quick to forget, that it was not long ago that I was living in sin, doing one bad thing after the other. Leaving a massive trail of destruction behind me. How did I feel, when those around me would catapult their hurtful opinions towards me?

Was I not shown grace and mercy by God? Am I not still alive today through divine intervention? When God stepped in and broke the plans that the enemy had for me, plans of pain and hurt. It was by the Lords hand alone that I am able to testify today, to stand and continue to walk and overcome the trials placed in front of me.

'If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself.'

                                                                                            Galatians 6:3

There's always so much more that meets the eye, so much that we cannot see or understand. Why am I so eager to look at my neighbours faults, and maybe only touch lightly on my own. There were moments in my yesterday, where I saw little to no hope. All I could see was the right here and now. There even came times where I wanted to take my own life, because I couldn't imagine anything better. Now here I am, wanting to sit on my high chair and look down on others! Who am I to pass judgement. Who am I to cast stones at others! Is my past clean? Is it perfect?

I didn't think so!

~ Written by Anastasios Konstantinopoulos

My Inspiration

My inspiration to write is a product of your presence,

Exchanging conversations, learning life lessons.

The calm hypnotic way, in which you get under my skin,

footprints over my heart, the places where you've been.
The colour of your grace flows through my entire,

Lighter shade of life, this is my soul on fire.

Truth be spoken,

words be broken,

my heart has awoken!

Come loose from the chains that once held strong,

Create in me a new life, causing my life to sing a new song.

Imagination of a place, the perfect strokes from a painters brush,

It's a symphony, chords meet notes, no phrase as too much.

Your touch, it drips over me.

Your voice, it dissolves me.

And after it all, what is left behind,

is my heart.. which beats for you...

~ Written by Anastasios Konstantinopoulos

Be still

Be still... And know... That He is God.

Things which come easily, are seldom appreciated... Or not.

Dignity that comes from accomplishment... Our State.

Protector of the sacred, our fundamentals of faith.

His positive influence, securing our salvation.

Touching human emotion, enduring our elevation.

Never become discouraged, 

should the Lord choose to scold you.

Whether through discipline or grace, 

allow Him to mould you.

I pray that God shall relieve, 

your pressures and your pain.

Building in you authentic character, 

your measures and your gain.

In the world, you shall have tribulation.

But take heart... He has overcome the world.

Says the author of our creation.

~ Written by Anastasios Konstantinopoulos